Because I grew up Hindu in the US during the 90s, my connection with Diwali is confusing. It was the most important Hindu holiday of the year, but we didn’t get a day off school for it. The festivities always felt crammed into the normal day-to-day schedule of my school and my parents’ work. For my family, we did a very simple pooja in the evening after school and on the weekend we went to another Indian family’s home for dinner and some fireworks that they saved from the previous Fourth of July.
Compared to Christmas, a holiday that we celebrated to some extent because my mom went to Catholic school in India, Diwali felt less significant. For Christmas, there was a break from school and the rest of the country – really the world – prepared for weeks to celebrate. Diwali even felt smaller than minor American holidays like Halloween and Valentines Day.
Now that I have my own kid, I want to find what traditions our family should have to help my third generation Indian American kids connect with their heritage.
In this bonus episode we’ll focus on Diwali traditions in India. But first, let’s discuss a bit of background about the festival of Diwali.
What is Diwali
Diwali or Deepavali as it is known in some parts of India comes from the Sanskrit dipavali meaning row of lights referring to the many oil lamps lit during the festival and Sanskrit texts from the 7th Century CE mention Diwali celebrations.
The common saying is that it is a celebration of good over evil or light over darkness, but those are simplifications. The more accurate explanation is that Diwali is celebrated for the victory of dharma over adharma.1 Dharma is a multifaceted term that doesn’t have an exact translation into English or western culture. In simplified terms, dharma means a person’s moral responsibility and that responsibility could be to society or family or another group.2 Adharma is the opposite of dharma and signifies vice, disharmony, and ethical wrongness.3 As such, Diwali is a celebration of moral responsibility to others.
Celebrations for Diwali typically last five days. Hindus use lunar calendars so Diwali usually falls in October or November of our modern Gregorian calendar.
The timing is said to have been chosen because of Rama’s arrival in Ayodhya x after his 14 year exile as chronicled in the Ramayana; although, the explanation can vary depending on which part of India you are in and which religion you belong to.1
Religious Significance
Although Diwali is mostly considered a Hindu holiday outside of India, Jains, Sikhs, and some Buddhists also celebrate Diwali.
As we discussed before, Diwali is most commonly said to be a celebration for Rama’s return from exile; however, other Hindus associate Diwali with other meanings.
Some associate it with Krishna killing the demon Narakasura and freeing 16,000 captive girls. Others associate it with Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity, and Ganesha, the remover of obstacles.
Hindus in eastern India sometimes associate Diwali with the Goddess Kali who symbolizes the victory of good over evil.
Jains also celebrate Diwali except rather than celebrating the Hindu meanings above, Jains dedicate the festival to Lord Mahavira. Diwali is celebrated as the anniversary of his attaining nirvana.6
Sikhs celebrate Diwali for the release of Guru Hargobind from the Gwalior Fort prison by the Mughal emperor Jahangir. Diwali is specifically the day he arrived at the Golden Temple in Amritsar.
Most Buddhists do not celebrate Diwali, but some do. The Newar people of Nepal celebrate Diwali by offering prayers to Lakshmi.
Pooja foods
Typical puja foods are cooked such as rice, fruit, ghee, honey, and yogurt.7 Dal is often served with rice and freshly prepared vegetables, especially those grown in the Indian subcontinent since ancient times such as bitter gourd, eggplant, drumstick, and okra.8
As Indian food content creator Krish Ashok says, the foods used in poojas are typically very ancient recipes made by ancestors for centuries. This often means that foods brought by Europeans from the Americas are excluded.9
I will have a full episode about what Indians ate before European colonization in the future. Subscribe to this podcast to see when it publishes.
Sweets
Many of the foods associated with Diwali are sweets or mithai. Some of the most popular are kheer which has the consistency of a more liquid pudding, laddu which is a round sweet commonly made from boondi, and halwa which has an oatmeal like consistency. Although there are many other varieties of sweets which we will discuss in an upcoming episode. If you want to listen, make sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast app.
Diwali in North America
My friend Rameya, an ABCD, recently finished a year long adventure of living in India. I asked her about her experience with Diwali in India. She said that the magnitude of the holiday surprised her along with the amount of preparation. She said the artistry and spirit of celebration in India is something she wants to preserve for her family.
By the way, Rameya is a Therapist and ADHD Coach that specializes in issues affecting the South Asian Diaspora such as multicultural identity issues, immigration and intergenerational trauma, and neurodivergence. I will put her contact information in the show notes and you can reach out if you want to talk to her.
Unlike in North America where Diwali is crammed between typical daily tasks like school and work, it is a multiday holiday where schools and businesses close in India. People get into the holiday spirit so-to-say like the winter holidays in the US and Canada.
The days of Diwali
In the days preceding Diwali, Indians who celebrate clean and decorate their homes. They light oil lamps called diyas and decorate their homes and businesses with colorful rangoli.
The first day of Diwali is called Dhanteras. This is considered an auspicious day to buy new utensils, jewelry, and home equipment. In the evening, families pray to Lakshmi, and Ganesha.
The second day is known by many names. One common name which we’ll use today is Chhoti Diwali which means little Diwali. Chhoti Diwali is the major day for purchasing sweets such as laddu, barfi, halwa, and sandesh. It is also the day for visiting friends and family to exchange gifts. On this night, a Hanuman puja is performed in many parts of India because of Hanuman’s devotion to Rama. So the night before Diwali, which marks Rama’s return from exile, is dedicated to Hanuman. I want to note that in Tamil Nadu and Karnataka, the second day is the main day of the holiday and is just called Diwali.1
In most parts of India, the third day of Diwali is the most significant day. This is the day when Hindu, Jain, and Sikh temples and homes are lit with diyas and families perform poojas in their homes or businesses. Families visit elders and business owners give gifts and bonuses to employees. Many businesses are closed. Celebrants wear new clothes or formal outfits and gather for prayers, food, and fireworks.
The fourth day usually celebrates marriage with husbands giving gifts to their wives. In other parts of India, parents give their newly married daughter and son-in-law a festive meal and gifts. The activities on this day can vary greatly depending on the community.
The fifth day celebrates the sister-brother relationship in a similar fashion to Raksha Bandhan earlier in the calendar year. In the case of Diwali, the brother travels to meet the sister and her family. In the case of Raksha Bandhan, the sister travels to meet the brother.5 On this day of Diwali, sisters perform a pooja for the wellbeing of their brothers, feed their brothers with their hands, and then the brothers give the sisters gifts.
Celebrating Diwali in North America
Going back to the main reason I worked on this episode, what traditions are my wife and I planning to give our kids around Diwali?
In the days and weeks leading up to Diwali, we will paint diyas with the kids.
We will try to paint rangoli on our porch and patio despite our lack of artistic skill.
When Diwali starts, we will light our painted diyas and hang some lights around our home.
On Danteras and Diwali, we will perform poojas for Lakshmi and Ganesha, followed by gifts of clothes and sweets.
Probably the most important part is to gather with friends and family so our kids have memories of being around the people who love them.
Of course, I am not so naive to think this will be easy. Between school and work, it will be difficult to find the time and energy for these activities. But we hope to give our kids some memories and connection to their Indian heritage.
I’d really appreciate it if you told me your experiences with Diwali growing up in North America by emailing me at contact [at] cooklikeanaunty [dot] com.
Thank you for listening! You can find a transcript and the sources used to make this episode on cooklikeanaunty.com/diwali. You can also find recipes for popular Indian dishes on the website or the Cook Like An Aunty YouTube channel. Links in the show notes.
Thanks for listening and see you next time!
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